Dear You

Dear You,

I thought it might be a good idea for me to start writing to you in this fashion, because even though we haven't met yet, I'm certain there are things that are happening to me every day...every minute, even, that you're going to want to know about once our paths finally do intersect. I mean, let's face it - most couples my age (and I'm guessing YOUR age, too...provided I'm not going to become a cougar in my near future and start dating shockingly younger men) are already living out their Happily (or, in some cases, Not-So-Happily) Ever After and have been for YEARS, so there's going to be a lot for me to bring you up to speed on once you and I get started on our own Forever. I thought if I put all my thoughts here for you to take a look at someday, it might serve to capture the spirit of who I am in this very moment, since as human beings, we are growing and changing literally every single day. And I want you to know me all you can, even the me that's sitting here in her t-shirt and pajama shorts with velcro rollers in her hair at 7:52 p.m. on March 13, 2010. So...here goes.

First of all, I'm guessing if you're reading this (or more accurately, if I am LETTING you read this), I must be pretty sure that you're THE ONE. (I mean, otherwise, why would you be reading it? Unless, of course, the You that's reading this right now is either A) a stalker or B) one of my blog or Twitter followers and if you're A) Ew. Go away, get a life and get a grip on your stalkerish ways. If you're B), however - HI! Thanks for reading and for following. This post is meant entirely for your entertainment and not to be taken to heart since I am saving mine for The One who will ultimately find his way to this blog. But nonetheless, thanks for caring about what I have to say!) Whew! But I digress. Anyway...if you're reading this and you don't fall under either A or B and you're reading this because I have given you the key to my heart, then...WOW. Hi. It took you FOREVER to get here! But that's okay. If you had gotten here any sooner, I might not have been ready. Or you might not have been ready. So thank you for getting here right on time. I don't know anything at all about you as I type this, yet by the time you actually read this, I will likely know you like the back of my hand I'm looking at even as I type. What a simply wonderful thought.

I wonder what you're like. I get flashes of you in my dreams sometimes...or in my moments of reflection and quiet time...or just simply in the deepest places of my heart...the places that continue to leave the light on for you even when, at the present moment, there is no sign of your arrival. I wonder how we'll meet. Even though in my version of the story, you always come galloping up on a white horse...I'm betting Life probably has other plans. I wonder what you'll think of me the first time you see me. What will draw you to me? What will be the deciding factor for you that seals the deal in you knowing you just HAVE to ask me out...have to see me again...have to see me again every day for the rest of your life? How will it all come together? The details fascinate me, I must admit. As a writer, an idealist, and the girliest girl you'll probably ever meet, I have to confess...I have made many a wish on many a star for you. I wonder if you ever wished on a star for me, too?

A few things you need to know about me in this first letter. First of all, if you haven't figured it out yet, I'm probably the most loyal person you'll ever meet. I tend to be like my mom in that I either love you fiercely or don't care for you much at all...but when I love you fiercely, I will defend you, stand by you, protect your heart even to the death. I am passionate about the people and the things that I love, and have a deep sense of justice. When the people I care about are wronged, I speak out on their behalf without a moment's hesitation. I'm a little on the small side but will get scrappy for you in a New York minute if somebody mistreats you. My feistiness is not afraid to come out when the situation calls for it!

I will never lie to you. I despise lying and think it's one of the most callous, cruel things we can do to the ones we love. My word to you will be my word and it will never, ever be broken. I will tell you the truth even when a lie would be easier to tell, and even easier for you to hear. I will not sugarcoat things or dress things up to sound better or worse than they are. I will be honest with you...and it might not always be what you wanna hear, but you will never have to worry even for a minute that I am hiding something from you, because I'm an open book. I mean, yeah...in the early days, I might try to be a little mysterious and unpredictable to keep your attention (which I'm guessing since you're reading this, it WORKED...wink, wink...) but once my heart is yours, it is yours fully, 100%, holding nothing back.

And in the vein of honesty, you should know...I'm not always a cup of tea. I can be fiery and stubborn and unwavering, even when the whole world is against me. I will defend my point of view until the cows come home and the fat lady sings. I will probably always want the last word, and will go outta my way to get it. :) But that same fiery stubborness and unwavering passion will also go into my love for you...a love that will be so deep, so high, so unconditional...it might take your breath away. Yes, I have pools and rivers and oceans of love to give away, and until you, no one really looked close enough to see it. And I'm thankful that they didn't...or I might have never followed the broken road that led me to you.

I think this is where I will stop for now. I have given you the first glimpse into my soul...but definitely not the last. I can't wait to share this adventure we call Life with you, and just knowing you're out there somewhere tonight brings me a great deal of peace. These fingers that type about the mystery of you now will someday be intertwined with yours as we read this and laugh together. But until that day...

Love,
Me